Thursday, October 14, 2004

day

Somewhat laborious day at the glass studio today. My work seemed to have left my employer unhappy; of the objects in the scene we mosaiced today, each of the ones i did gave her some difficulty; either they were the wrong color, or the wrong shape, or were constructed using the wrong size pieces than she intended. Each of the parts of the thing that i worked on today had to be partly undone, or will have to be entirely redone. I uncomplainingly started the process of prying apart the area i was creating, during the second half of the day. When the end of the day came, and my employer came to look over my shoulder at the half-removed glass pieces there, I joked that maybe I'll wind up taking the whole thing off I don't know, and she laughed particularly hyperly and said that she thought I should just take the whole thing apart and redo it with larger pieces. I said I'd do that tomorrow and left the piece as it was. In the car I go by fancy gardens and front yards with elaborate or normal trees, my eye catches ten thousand nuances in every branch and leaf, and I sigh, thinking that glass turns out not to be the best format in which to express these essences; the best i can do with it is only *sometimes* the best way to use the stuff. I sigh again thinking sometimes i have good days and sometimes i don't have such good days in that shop, and that it never really was "about" the glass. I mean, every time I would get carried away with glass in that place; that is, every time I would start treating glass with abandon, like it was like any other art substance, I would seem to get yelled at for mistreating the instruments or wasting the supplies-- like the experience of really getting full throttle into the "art" of it, got me to a place that was outside of practicality, or left me in a place where the actual process was in the way, or where my inexperience was causing me to inappropriatelly use the objects actually in my hands...

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