Friday, September 10, 2004

burner

i've returned from a place far away in the desert, perhaps you can guess its name. if you cannot, suffice to say that i am changed, as it is changeful for the many who arrive there, from the outside to exist as others, different for a while. you never return the same way you arrived, from this place. we know this intimately, those of us who return year by year. and now here i am again and i find myself in limetown or its outskirts, trying to remember where i was before. i feel as though i learned alot, out there. september will see, and has already seen, a great many shifts, a great many undoings for me. but one thing that i remember now, learned in the dust, was that, to be a creator, one must necessarily be a destroyer. i stood beside a fellow who had built a car shaped like an aligator's mouth, and he intended to burn it completelly when the festivities where done, and a girl beside us was raving at its injustice; that such a remarkable accomplishment should be destroyed without a trace. and yet it somehow seemed logical to me, a perfectly fair ending, but i could not explain, not vocalize what i was seeing as the logic. yet now i know; if you did not destroy the creation, there would be no more creation... to create the next, you must destroy the first. in a way, i have always known this, and it has always made sense. but now i have seen it made of fire. materialized on the sand, in the stone of faces blazing to the night: iron laughter of the dancing death that sings as it is cast smoke-trail to the Lords who collect our dreams and cast them back at us again, in sleep, or stance, or stolen glance through air... Neither he nor i bothered to explain, and though she walked away still proclaiming that she couldn't understand, that it even made her angry to think the artist intended to remove his work from the world, after having taken such care to place it there, i think it needed no further words: the creator is already always the destroyer of the same... the creation of the future Things that Are, depends upon the End of those that Were... i will not be seeing that fellow again, not for a long while, or perhaps ever... it is not for this life... it is not for this life... the space in the creator's life is only so large... only so large...

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