Sunday, August 15, 2004

the city

i have someone i look forward to seeing, who lives in the tall towers out in the district known by me in this text as Champaigne Coast... He lives an interesting lifestyle, as they all do down there, or at least it looks very interesting to me; his place is painted all one color and has an extremely high cieling. maybe the people out in Champaigne Coast don't think their lives are as interesting as they look from out here in Limetown; it's hard to tell-- the people i left behind in the place i'll call Foxtown think that my lifestyle here in Lime is interesting... maybe if the folks in Champaigne Coast knew a little more about what it's like out here, they'd think it's interesting... but i don't really think they'd be convinced for long; since living in Champaigne Coast, as far as i understand, makes the rest of the world look dull... But anyways i look forward to going back there, and seeing my person there again, high in his place in those steeples of business... of industry... of power... I am strangely drawn to the metropolis; even though the thought of living there, of actually becoming embroiled and fully involved in that massive factory, that strange and broad center of the universe, makes a part of me shudder... today i walked by a window and looked inside, and saw a huge vast dark empty space with a sign: for office or retail, call 1-800---.. and suddenly a bus went by that had the name of Champaigne Coast in lights along its side, and the experience was wierd; it was like i was looking in on the world's offer to me to be a person of that kind of power; and that the place where such things happen is Champaigne Coast... at times i get this wierd feeling like that Megalopolis is talking to me, telling me to come closer, come closer; become a part of me, the city says... What a wierd thing for a little kid from a country town like Foxtown to be hearing these days... You know what, though? As much as this Champaigne Coast is summoning me from where i am, there is another city, even further away, on the other edge of this strange nation in fact, whose distant voice is stronger; and that's the town i'll call here in this text Lemuria. Lemuria was attacked a few years ago. People have sometimes told me that i have a Lemurian accent, or that I look like a Lemurian, even though i've never lived there. Since I was a kid I've wondered what it would be like to live there, to be amongst those skyscrapers... And at times I think about moving there, just to see what it would be like; but you know the thought of suddenly landing in that legendary town is a little intimidating: all big cities are just a little bit intimidating, when you come from an extremely small place... Foxtown doesn't train you for life in Champaigne Coast or Lemuria, and it never will: it doesn't know how, and can never learn... size matters to cities. Size matters more to Citizens. I feel like i haven't found my town yet: i've never lived in a place where i thought "i could live here-- i mean really LIVE here-- for all of my life..." It might even be that even Lemuria isn't for me, not in a long term sense... but i think perhaps i've always had a fascination and a fear of that place; and i guess that's to be expected of a person, towards the capital of the world, psychologically speaking.... But anyways its draw, the draw that's coming from Lemuria, has stretched across the nation and reached me even here, and drowned out the voice of massive Champaigne Coast, only just a few mountains away.


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